Do you have a ‘competence hangover’? | Emma Beddington
#competence hangover #workplace burnout #gender inequality #mental health #work-life balance #emotional labor #overwork culture #professional exhaustion
📌 Key Takeaways
- Competence hangover affects overworked individuals, particularly women, causing exhaustion from excessive responsibilities
- Women face disproportionate workplace pressure due to domestic burdens, unequal rewards, and lack of 'status shield'
- The allure of competence creates a psychological trap where self-worth becomes tied to productivity
- Addressing this requires both individual mindset shifts and collective responsibility sharing
📖 Full Retelling
In 2026, Grazia magazine highlighted a phenomenon called 'competence hangover' affecting overworked individuals, particularly women in professional settings, who experience exhaustion from taking on excessive responsibilities and emotional labor without adequate recognition or appreciation. The term describes a state of bone-deep exhaustion with symptoms including insomnia, headaches, irritability, emotional flatness, and a constant feeling of being 'on.' This condition stems from the depletion that comes with consistently over-delivering at work while also shouldering disproportionate domestic responsibilities, where women often manage both professional obligations and the 'mental load' of home life, including tasks like organizing celebrations and being the go-to problem solver in both spheres. Several factors exacerbate this phenomenon for women in the workplace, as studies indicate that women's extra professional hours are rewarded less than men's, and women who work more efficiently are often judged negatively for it. Unlike men, women lack what psychologists call a 'status shield,' making them more likely to bear the brunt of negative emotions and perceptions in professional settings. These pressures contribute to findings from McKinsey's 2025 Women in the Workplace report, which suggested for the first time that women are less interested in career advancement than men, potentially due to burnout from the competence hangover cycle. While particularly affecting women, the allure and subsequent burden of competence can be universal across genders, as being in a relationship with a competent person provides security and comfort, yet competence often becomes a difficult habit to break, leading conscientious individuals of all genders to become overburdened. Psychologists note that competent individuals are often 'soothed' by busyness, creating a psychological trap where their self-worth becomes tied to their productivity and problem-solving abilities, requiring both individual mindset shifts and collective workplace changes to address the issue effectively.
🏷️ Themes
Workplace burnout, Gender inequality, Mental health, Work-life balance
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Original Source
Do you have a ‘competence hangover’? Emma Beddington It’s what happens when people, especially women, are overworked and underappreciated. Time for all the incompetent slackers to step up ... A re you bone-deep exhausted and struggling to cope? Do you have “insomnia, headaches, irritability, emotional flatness and a sense of being permanently on?” I mean, obviously you do, you’re a person existing in 2026, but you may also have a “competence hangover”. That’s what Grazia says some women in the workplace are experiencing. They are depleted by accepting additional responsibilities, over delivering, taking on emotional labour, supplying the Colin the Caterpillar birthday cake, and generally being the person to whom everyone complacently says: “What would we do without you?!” It’s a familiar story in the domestic sphere, where women shoulder disproportionate responsibilities plus a bonus mental load. At work, as multiple surveys and reports have indicated in recent years, they are more likely to burn out (the “competence hangover” sounds like burnout lite). In large part this is due to difficulties reconciling the domestic burden and professional obligations. Other factors also amp up the pressure to over perform professionally: women’s extra hours are rewarded less than men’s, according to a 2024 study ; presenteeism means women who work more efficiently (completing their work in fewer hours) are judged negatively for it ; and they lack the “ status shield ” men enjoy, meaning they’re more likely to bear the brunt of negative emotions and perceptions. No wonder McKinsey’s 2025 Women in the Workplace report suggested for the first time that “women are less interested in being promoted than men”. But while women in particular are suffering from competence hangovers, I think the seduction (and trap) of competence can be universal – because competence is wonderful. Discussing how we fell for our partners with friends recently, I explained that my now-husband swiftly and ef...
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