Digested week: Garrick Club confirms an actual woman has joined – the queen | Emma Brockes

Digested week: Garrick Club confirms an actual woman has joined – the queen Emma Brockes Approval of the royal’s membership doesn’t strike one as the most rigorous enforcement of the democratic principle Monday For the diary this week I think we should put our heads in the sand, pretend the world isn’t happening, and take refuge instead in the funniest, rudest Aussie TV show in history – namely, season two of Deadloch, which just dropped on Amazon Prime. We pride ourselves in Britain on leading the world in baroque swearing, so it pains me to say this, but I think the Aussies might have the edge. Dulcie Collins and Eddie Redcliffe – ably described by a passing troll on a mobility scooter as “a Shetland pony and a lesbian giraffe” – are odd couple cops who, in Deadloch’s first season, met to solve a murder in Tasmania. Now they find themselves in Barra Creek, a small town in the Northern Territory ravaged by rivalry between the two main, crocodile-based businesses: Land of Crocs, and Don Darrell’s Best Best Jumping Croc Tour. It’s written by “the two Kates” as they’re known in Australia, Kate McLennan and Kate McCartney, and I’ve never heard swearing like it, not even in The Thick of It, none of which I can quote because it’s too rude. (Tiny example: Redcliffe, catching sight of a drone passing overhead, looks up and refers to it for no particular reason as a “hover-c***”). There’s plenty of fake swearing, too. An Aussie woman built like a cement mixer invites one of the cops to, “shove it up your clack”, a line that made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off the sofa, as did the line, “what adult eats yoghurt through a pouch?” and “the toilet’s non-load bearing”. The toilet’s non-load bearing – tears literally pouring down my face. There’s a joke about a hammerhead shark which I can’t explain, and a drive-by on UK tourists over-staying their visas (“The Croc-ettes have all been deported back to the UK”) which you also, possibly, had to be there for – but my point is, i...