This is how we do it: ‘We schedule sex ahead – being organised has reaped massive dividends’

This is how we do it: ‘We schedule sex ahead – being organised has reaped massive dividends’ Being spontaneous is overrated, say Mia and Elijah, who find timetabling sex means it never gets forgotten How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously Elijah, 59 OK, you’re volunteering on Tuesday, and I’m going fishing on Thursday, so we’re going to have sex on Monday and Friday Although Mia and I have been together for nearly three decades, we still have sex almost as often as when we first started dating in the 90s. I’d say we “get friendly” 2.5 times a week on average, which is definitely more than most other couples we know in our age bracket. The key has always been planning; 99 times out of 100, we’ll agree to have sex a day or two in advance, a pattern we established even before we got married. It means we’re never in the awkward position of trying to gauge whether the other person is in the mood. Most weeks, we just look at what we’ve got going on, then arrange sex accordingly – “OK, you’re volunteering on Tuesday, and I’m going fishing on Thursday, so we’re going to have sex on Monday and Friday.” It’s really that simple, and prevents sex from ever falling by the wayside. I’ve never been the uptight, corporate type who obsessively follows a schedule; in fact, I’m pretty laid-back, but in this area of our lives, being organised has reaped massive dividends. On the days when I know we’re going to have sex, it gives me something to look forward to from the moment I wake up – and having a few hours in the evening that are completely blocked out for physical pleasure with no technology or distractions is so good for our mental health. Sure, sometimes it’s nice to be impulsive, too. Occasionally, if we’re away for the night Mia will offer up a quickie, but it’s rarely as good as prearranged sex at home, where we’ve got all our creature comforts (sex toys and weed), and can really take our time. We’ve perfected our sexual routine now – down to the show...