In Tibet, a Writer Finds Peace on a Trek to 18,000 Feet

A writer found solace and self-forgiveness during a challenging trek to 18,000 feet in Tibet on the last day of a kora pilgrimage, as she coped with the recent death of her sister and the end of her marriage. Walking alone past rocks carved with Tibetan prayers and warning signs about cliff roads, she observed small birds that likely nest in holes in the rocky inclines and pikas running around her feet. This arduous journey marked the first time in six years since her sister's cancer diagnosis that she had come close to feeling true happiness, as the high altitude and proximity to what she considered her sister's spiritual gods allowed her to forgive herself for personal failures. The writer reflected on how she had spent the previous year in a state of anxiety, contorting herself to make her husband find her lovable again, forgetting that her flaws didn't make her despicable, only human. Watching Tibetan pilgrims raise their hands to the skies, praying for everyone on earth, she discovered that atonement wasn't an impossibility and began to accept her own humanity.