Late Night Isn’t Sad to See Kristi Noem Leave Homeland Security
📖 Full Retelling
“Sounds like someone’s about to become the FIFA secretary of homeland security,” Stephen Colbert joked.
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Advertisement SKIP ADVERTISEMENT Supported by SKIP ADVERTISEMENT Late Night ROUNDUP Late Night Isn’t Sad to See Kristi Noem Leave Homeland Security “Sounds like someone’s about to become the FIFA secretary of homeland security,” Stephen Colbert joked. Share full article By Trish Bendix March 6, 2026, 1:35 a.m. ET Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now . ‘FIFA Secretary of Homeland Security’ President Trump fired Kristi Noem as homeland security secretary on Thursday, announcing her new role as “special envoy for the Shield of the Americas” on Truth Social. “Sounds like someone’s about to become the FIFA secretary of homeland security,” Stephen Colbert said. “Before we find out any more information about what happened, I just want to say with absolute certainty she is a domestic terrorist who deserves to go to Gitmo. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m being told that is not true. But you know what? I acted on the information we had at the time.” — STEPHEN COLBERT “And now that she’s going to be gone, the Trump administration is going to be great!” — MICHAEL KOSTA “You heard Trump, Kristi. Time to turn in your badge and your cowboy hat and your bigger cowboy hat and your flak jacket and your night-vision goggles and your firefighter costume. Oh, and also your camel — what was your job again?” — MICHAEL KOSTA “Trump said that Noem will become special envoy for the Shield of the Americas. Even the FIFA Peace Prize was like ‘That sounds made-up.’” — JIMMY FALLON “You know it’s a promotion when the job was just invented six minutes ago using refrigerator magnets. I can’t wait to see what outfit she’ll wear for that.” — MICHAEL KOSTA “What? Kristi Noem is out? But where is she going to get the money for all her wonderful costumes? We were only months away from her showing up as both leads from ‘Wicked.’” — SETH MEYERS The Punch...
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