I spent decades pleasing everyone. Then cancer changed the equation.
As a firstborn Gen-X daughter, people-pleasing was like a second skin to me.Discovering I had chronic lymphoma forced me to set boundaries and maintain boundaries.I've found that setting boundaries gets easier with practice, but requires vigilance.The summer I turned 50, I was diagnosed with lymphoma. While the type I have is considered to be very treatable, it's also considered chronic."You'll likely die with it, not of it," my oncologist told me.The one-two punch of turning 50 and receiving a cancer diagnosis became a crash course on managing another chronic ailment that's long plagued me, people pleasing.As a firstborn daughter, disappointing people I love has always felt physically painful to me.
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As a firstborn Gen-X daughter, people-pleasing was like a second skin to me.Discovering I had chronic lymphoma forced me to set boundaries and maintain boundaries.I've found that setting boundaries gets easier with practice, but requires vigilance.The summer I turned 50, I was diagnosed with lymphoma. While the type I have is considered to be very treatable, it's also considered chronic."You'll likely die with it, not of it," my oncologist told me.The one-two punch of turning 50 and receiving a cancer diagnosis became a crash course on managing another chronic ailment that's long plagued me, people pleasing.As a firstborn daughter, disappointing people I love has always felt physically painful to me. When my son was a toddler, and I'd leave to go to a yoga class, he'd sob as we watched me through the window, his face scrunched up like he was being tortured. I'd try to override the ache in my chest as I backed the car out of the driveway, reminding myself that my son was safe in my husband's care, and it was healthy for me to take a little time to nurture myself.As my kids grew and I attended regular therapy, the silent, impossible expectations of myself that I hadn't realized I'd been carrying started to appear, like invisible ink being revealed.
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- What's the story?
- As a firstborn Gen-X daughter, people-pleasing was like a second skin to me.Discovering I had chronic lymphoma forced me to set boundaries and maintain boundaries.I've found that setting boundaries gets easier with practice, but requires vigilance.The summer I turned 50, I was diagnosed with lymphoma. While the type I have is considered to be very treatable, it's also considered chronic."You'll likely die with it, not of it," my oncologist told me.The one-two punch of turning 50 and receiving a cancer diagnosis became a crash course on managing another chronic ailment that's long plagued me, people pleasing.As a firstborn daughter, disappointing people I love has always felt physically painful to me.
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- 1 outlet, average source rating 6.0/10.
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- 9m ago.
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I spent decades pleasing everyone. Then cancer changed the equation.
Sources1TypeCoverageBusiness Insider